Dead heat on a merry-go-round

If memory serves, back in the 1950s there was a book entitled Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round. I can remember nothing about it, save the title, not even the name of the author. But that title stuck with me. Like most people, I’ve experienced numerous occasions in my life in which the image engendered by that book title seemed particularly appropriate.
Of late, I find myself with yet another example of this phenomenon. Our on-going battle with the United States Postal Service has hit a new level of absurdity. I am happy (?) to report that the little ol’ Herald Publishing Company of Hazen, Arkansas, is not the only firm experiencing delays in getting our publications to our readers through the mails. I have come to find out that many other Arkansas newspapers, and some national magazines, are experiencing the same unreasonable delays in delivery. I say I’m happy about that, but only because it’s nice to know that you’re not alone in a struggle with a behemoth like the USPS.
The latest chapter in this saga involves Ms Nancy Guthrie of Midland, Texas. Most Prairie County residents with any tenure at all, will remember Nancy as the long time county and circuit clerk for the county and a stalwart in the local Democratic party.. She reported that she was getting her copy of the Grand Prairie Herald very late indeed, so we filed the proper forms with the Post Office Department to try and find out why.
Just last week we received a reply to our inquiry, signed by one Angelo Bustamante, who identified himself as a Consumer Affairs Representative. Angelo wasn’t much help. In fact, he was no help whatsoever.
According to Angelo, the USPS tracked the delivery of four issues of the Herald (the most they will do without an act of Congress or divine intervention) to Nancy’s door step.
The issues of February 12 and February 26 both were delivered on the same day, March 7. The issue of March 12 was delivered on March 20, and the issue of March 5 was not delivered until the first day of April. If this seems unreasonable to you, you ain’t alone, cousin.
It would be different if we, in preparing the papers for mailing every week, were cutting corners or playing fast and loose with the regulations for second class mail. But the fact is, we follow the rules as laid down by the honchos at USPS to the letter. Even they admit that.
All Angelo did was suggest that we mail Nancy’s paper separately from others going to that zip code, even though according to postal regulations we’re doing it right. No apology, no explanation for obviously miserable service. By extension, the only thing we could do to make sure every one of our subscribers gets their copy of either The Grand Prairie Herald or The DeValls Bluff Times in a timely manner is to mail them all separately. In all honesty, it’s all we can do to get enough second class mail bags to mail the papers the way they told us we were supposed to do it in the first place. It just wouldn’t be practical to put some 1,500 newspapers each into its own second class mail sack. And even if it was practical, I’m not of a mind to do even more of the USPS’s work for them.
In fairness, we’ve had no problems with newspapers delivered by the conscientious mail carriers from the Hazen, DeValls Bluff, Biscoe or Carlisle post offices. Of course we take those newspapers directly to those post offices ourselves every Tuesday afternoon. Nancy’s mail carrier, one Ramon Conteras, doesn’t appear to give a large rodent’s posterior whether or not Nancy gets her paper on time. Neither, apparently, does his supervisor, Randy Beeler. Now, I don’t know Ramon or Randy personally, but you’d think they’d have some explanation why a retired lady living in deepest darkest Texas can’t get her properly addressed and mailed home town newspaper delivered in a reasonable amount of time.
But no! Ramon and Randy, along I suspect with Angelo, couldn’t care less that they aren’t doing their rather well paid government jobs properly. They’ll continue to get paid whether they do their work right or not, because the Postal Workers Union will raise almighty hell if they don’t.
And anyway, how dare you, a lowly patron of the USPS, question their performance? Who do you think you are? A U.S. citizen or something?