DON'T PANIC

Once upon a time there was this English, for lack of a better term, novelist. I say "was" because he died last year. His name was Douglas Adams, and he was a genuinely funny guy, in a darkly twisted kind of way. He wrote a hugely successful series of books that centered about a fictional book called "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". This book was fictional in the truest sense of the term. Not only did its subject matter not exist; neither did the book itself. You can't get much more fictional than that.
The cover of this entirely fictional book bore the words "Don't Panic" in large friendly letters. The book supposedly contained advice for people trying to hitchhike from planet to planet which, I'm sure you'd agree, would be a very stressful undertaking.
My goal is nothing so grandiose. It is my intention merely to reassure you, gentle readers, that just because you occasionally might be moved to do something your mother might have preferred you didn't do, that doesn't necessarily mean you are a bad person.
For instance, you may have been tempted at one time or another, to hit Marilyn Manson in the head with an ax. If so, it's okay, we've all felt the same way. If you don't even know who Marilyn Manson is, consider yourself doubly blessed.
You men out there, and you know who you are, if you are alone in a forest and say something out loud, and there is no woman around to hear you, you might wonder if you are still wrong. Don't be silly. Of course you are, but then you should be used to that by now if you are over the age of 15.
And you ladies, who may or may not know who you are, it's okay to be a feminist. That doesn't mean you aren't cute. It must be terrible to be torn between conflicting ideologies like that.
I don't mean to sound like I feel hostile toward women, although I'm sure there are women reading this right now who have already made up their minds that I am a male chauvinist pig, or whatever the current catch phrase might be. (I'm terribly out of the loop in terms of politically correct language.) I assure you I have the greatest respect for females of all descriptions. I'm married to one who, in the last few months, has found herself suddenly thrust into two positions of responsibility on a level she had not heretofore experienced. She is the publisher of two newspapers and the principal of a high school. Try that on your stress tolerance level sometime.
I'm proud to say that my better half is handling the situation with more confidence and self-control than I could muster in a similar circumstance. Of course, my wife has gone through an experience that, at least in some regard, has prepared her to deal with outlandish or atypical situations. She has been married to me for nigh on to three decades. You ain't gonna scare her.
My typical response to heavy stress is to want to hit Marilyn Manson in the head with an ax. But, like I've already said, that's okay.