Expect the worst

Not much surprises me anymore. I’m never sure whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
And we’re not talking about somebody sneaking up behind me and suddenly saying something in my ear before I know they’re there. Not only does that still catch me off-guard, it also annoys the living daylights out of me. There are a few folks within my usual sphere of acquaintances who experience a perverse delight in taking advantage of the fact that I have a substantial hearing loss, engendered by the youthful indiscretion of standing for extended periods in front of large banks of amplifier speakers while playing that revolting abomination known as rock music (actually I don’t think it’s revolting at all. I still like it). These acquaintances think scaring me out of a few years of my life (that I can’t afford to lose) is just more fun than a picnic on the grounds with an ice cream sociable afterwards. I’ll bet these same folks would get a big giggle out of somebody else’s abdominal surgery.
On the plus side of being unsurpriseable, I am no longer stunned, shocked and appalled when a mistake is made. It’s not that I expect people to make mistakes necessarily, it just doesn’t take me by surprise when they do. Mistakes, avoidable and otherwise, will happen and a mere mortal doesn’t stop making mistakes until somebody starts shoveling dirt on them.
On the minus side of the ledger, I must confess I miss that delightful little surge of adrenaline I used to get when an unexpected windfall came my way. Not money. As difficult as it may be for some of you, gentle readers, to believe, money does not make my world go around. These windfalls don’t come along that often anyway, but it was nice to feel like I had, somehow, earned special consideration of some sort, or some kindness, extended so long ago I had forgotten about it, was being repaid.
But I have come to accept that I don’t deserve any special consideration because I am, apparently, a mean, ill-tempered old curmudgeon. I can live with that. There’s something to be said for being a villain. For one thing, nobody is disappointed when you are villainous.
As far as returning kindnesses is concerned, if you extend a kindness with the expectation that it will be returned, it wasn’t a kindness in the first place. It was a loan for which you expect repayment. I think it important that this distinction be made.
For sure, I’m not astounded when people do bad things to each other. Apparently this is what our species does best. You’ll never go broke betting on people to be rotten.
Whenever I get depressed by the continuing erosion of my faith in the fundamental decency of the human animal, I think of the words of one of our nation’s founding fathers, Benjamin Franklin, who was also one of the most quotable men in history. Among the classy things ol’ Ben said was “Always expect the worst. That way, when it happens you’re not disappointed and when it doesn’t you’re delightfully surprised.” As I said, ain’t much surprises me these days.
Then again, another thing ol’ Ben said was, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” I’m not sure how to take that in light of the other thing about expecting the worst.