His excellency speaks

Few things get my attention more quickly than stupidity. And just about the last thing anybody really wants is my undivided attention. I have a tendency to be caustic to the point of viciousness when I encounter something really stupid, and for whatever reason he had in mind, the Almighty gave me a genuine talent for being caustic.
Maybe he figured I wasn’t going to be good for much else so I might as well give parents someone to point to when they asked their children, “You don’t want to turn out like that, do you?”
What brought all this on, you ask? Last week I received another epistle from our one and only governor, his excellency Mike Huckabee. Seems Governor Mike got a new building named after himself at the Arkansas School for the Blind in Little Rock. Now this institution has been doing a wonderful job educating the visually impaired in the Natural State for a long time, and empirical evidence suggests the school has turned out some of our more distinguished high school football officials, basketball referees and baseball umpires.
In any event, outside of their taste in picking namesakes for their physical plant, I have no argument with the school. The Guv made a speech at the dedication of this new structure, and his missive included a 5X7 color glossy photograph of his excellency delivering this address, with our First Lady Janet Huckabee, standing faithfully by his side, interpreting his words in sign language.
Yeah, I know it sounds like I made it up, but honest to goodness, I’ve still got the picture. Our governor, occupant of the state chief executive’s official triple-wide residence, was speaking in front of the newly completed Huckabee Hall at the Arkansas School for the Blind while his wife interpreted in sign language for an audience of blind people.
Now I’ll freely admit that I flunked the competency exam for political correctness. But as crusty and avuncular as I am, even I wouldn’t do something as blatantly insensitive as that.
Frankly, I can’t believe Janet was down with that idea. Usually, she’s more firmly connected to planet earth than her husband, but on this occasion either she joined him on one of his temporary excursions to the outer limits or she agreed to do the sign language thing before they told her where she would be at the time, and the Guv made her stick to it.
I feel for the woman. Think about it, gentle readers, how would you feel, standing before an audience that included a high percentage of visually impaired people as you used a communication format designed for people who are hearing impaired. Embarrassment wouldn’t begin to describe your emotions, provided of course, that you had the sense to realize how insanely stupid what you were doing was.
I am ever so glad I wasn’t there. Considering the current atmosphere of tension in our nation, at the very least I’d have gotten my caboose thrown in jail if not beaten senseless by the governor’s body guard. There is no way I could have resisted shouting out, “Hey Janet, they can’t see you, but they can hear just fine. Why don’t you see if you can’t get them to name a building after Mikee over at the School for the Deaf? You could do the sign language bit over there to your heart’s content and they could appreciate it. Truth be told, you’re wasting your time over here.”