The navel controversy

At what point did a young woman’s navel become her most important feature? Was I absent that day? Did they send around a memo that I didn’t get? Was an announcement made, but I missed it due to my admittedly poor hearing? I guess the whole thing about a woman wanting to be thought of as a person instead of a sex object has pretty much gone by the boards.
I have more than a little trouble understanding the recent fashion trend which seems to focus upon exposing a woman’s navel to public view. Fashion designers and women’s clothing emporia are falling all over themselves pushing low rider britches and tops that fail to reach the belt line.
School administrators, those notoriously poor judges of modern fashion, are having to spend inordinate amounts of time deciding whose pants don’t come up high enough or shirts don’t come down low enough. This is a bad thing. Most of these guys aren’t all that great at making judgement calls. That’s why they were coaches instead of referees before they were principals and superintendents. It really isn’t fair to make them do it now, especially in an area like this. That is, the area of a young woman’s navel.
While we’re on the subject, there are a couple of points I’d like to touch on with the sweet young things who are so set on showing us their navels .I’ve been married for almost three decades and I dearly love my wife, but I am neither blind nor dead. I am still aware of an attractive woman in the vicinity. But to be truthful about it, even when I was young and single, I didn’t pay much attention to a woman’s navel. Still don’t. The former connection point of an umbilical cord has no importance for me. And, ladies, any male who is attracted to your belly button is either a few french fries short of a happy meal, maturity-wise, or a very twisted little puppy.
Girls, just who are you trying to impress, and what impression are you trying to make? Trust me on this one: Any male who is impressed by the fact that you show off your navel isn’t the kind of guy you’re looking for, unless you’re trying to send a message that you are available for rent at hourly rates. But then I don’t really believe that’s the message you intend to communicate. My bet is that you trying to say that you are alluring and desirable as a partner, as most women have tried to communicate in one way or another since the dawn of history. But you’re letting a temporary fashion trend get between you and reality.
Men try to say the same thing about themselves but the language is a bit different. At a very primordial level, we try to create the impression of being good breeding stock, even if we don’t realize we’re doing it. The message is clear, if subliminal: “Look at me, girls. I’ll make strong, healthy babies so the species will survive. I’m physically powerful enough to provide plenty of food and shelter, and I’m dumb enough to let you push me around.”
Yes guys, that’s what you’re doing. You’re telling the world that you’d be a good daddy, not a good lover.
Since we’re in the neighborhood, I might as well make this point, too: Guys, you’re belly button is even less of a feast for the eyes than your girl friend’s. Cover it up, for heaven’s sake. Some of us just had lunch..