No good excuse

Preferential primary election day is Tuesday, May 21. In my most loving and heartfelt voice, gentle readers, I would like to urge you to get your posteriors up off the couch and go to the polls.
Believe me, I’ve heard all the excuses: There’s nobody to vote for. I’ve got better things to do. It doesn’t matter anyway, all the candidates are alike.
Let’s adddress these in order.
1. There’s nobody to vote for. If you don’t consider any of the candidates in a particular race to be worthy of your consideration, then next time, file for the office yourself. Unless you’re a convicted felon, odds are you’d have as good a shot as anybody else.
2. I’ve got better things to do. Like what? Shine your shoes, trim your nose hair, wash your feet? Trust me on this one, unless we’re talking about emergency surgery, there’s very little that won’t wait long enough for you to cast your ballot. And even if you do require the removal of certain portions of your anatomy, the law now allows for you to vote early or in absentia.
3. It doesn’t matter anyway, all the candidates are alike. This response indicates someone who is not paying attention. If you think all of the candidates for any given office are alike, you are correct only to the extent that they are all, most likely, humanoid mammals who no longer live in trees, and even that’s not a sure thing. No two human beings are alike in terms of what they will say and do, especially under pressure. That’s what makes the human race so interesting.
However, if you don’t care who spends your tax money for you or who operates the various governmental entities that control almost every aspect of your life, then it probably really doesn’t matter to you who wins an election. But if this is the case, please do me the courtesy of staying the heck away from me. I have to deal with quite enough worthless dim bulbs without adding to the collection.
And if you found that last sentence insulting, you were supposed to.